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Post by Amarië on May 7, 2004 19:04:13 GMT -5
only on Wed., but so far, I can relate to just about everything... I feel like the only thing that matters in my life has been ripped away from me. My whole life is now nothing... only two hourse, three days of the week... and we're moving again... we should be moved onto the property by the end of the summer... bloody place looks horrible... so I shall save this for my journal... when I get around to typing it... but I must go now... really soon...
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Post by Mippin on May 9, 2004 15:09:34 GMT -5
Alright, so.. I'm sick now. I jsut got back from Lëo's house and I think my nose is going to fall off or disintegrate or.. something.
Anyway, I'm really frustrated right now. Just really frustrated. Y'know, I always thought that I was a rather friendly person, but I guess I'm not. Not very nice at all. Not really, anyway. I want to scream. Scream and/or die, right now. Someone shoot me, please. I'm tired of being told I have a bad attitude, I'm tired of being misunderstood, I'm tired of shutting down when all I really want to do is scream "F*** YOU!" and run away. I hate that I'm piled up with all this work for nothing. I have to do all this work or else I get my internet taken away. Why?! Because I was bloody misunderstood and told I have a bad attitude! I can't wait to get out of here but I'm trapped. Trapped with so many limitations. I can't go here, I can't go there; I can't do this, I can't do that... Hell, I'm not even allowed to listen to any other music besides what my parents listen to and instrumental pieces! I have so many restrictions and they're driving me crazy. Then I have to go help my dad do HIS job!!! If he worked in an office I wouldn't have to do that. He'd do it himself, and I wouldn't be forced to put off my homework to do work while he goes and watches television. Why am I put through this torture? Am I being a b****, like my dad just happen to say I was about an hour earlier today...
Great, so I best come clean now, I guess. I'm not sure if I want to tell you all this, but my frustration really peaked the other day. I was helping my mum unpack her plants, and one of them fell over. She rushed over calling me clumsy and grabbed her plants, scolded me and left. It was an accident! I was fuming... I got so frustrated... and I set the box down on the counter and rushed away angrily,trying not to say anything because I was so angry. But then my mum shut the door and came after me. My eye got hurt, and I just rushed to my room not knowing what to do and I sat there and cried. I was shaking, and I just wished I could die. And I still do! I'm just so upset and I don't know how I could ever tell them without them getting mad at me. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. My parents don't really hit me, not exactly... I.. can't explain it, but its not abusive. I just don't know what to do... how to express myself.... there is no way to express myself. I just can't. And now I don't know if I should have told you guys this, and its going to bug me for a long time. I'm probably going to delete it soon, but please don't worry about me.
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Post by Arwen on May 9, 2004 15:43:56 GMT -5
Oh Mip! Parents often say stuff (in my experiance) that they don't think through. They don't realize what it sounds like. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Never do. Praying for you!
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Post by Galadrie*snackle*den on May 9, 2004 17:03:20 GMT -5
*hugs* I know what it's like, and all I can say is that I hope things get better... and if they don't, that you can at least find a way to make them better.
-Menelien
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Post by elberethvarda on May 9, 2004 17:11:14 GMT -5
*hugs* I'm really sorry, Mip.
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Mip who is somehow logged out
Guest
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Post by Mip who is somehow logged out on May 9, 2004 17:57:02 GMT -5
*hugs back* Thanks guys.
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on May 9, 2004 22:07:33 GMT -5
*huggles Mip* I'll talk to you more, okay? And this time, don't disappear on me.
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Post by Mippin on May 19, 2004 21:22:07 GMT -5
Today I've dedicated to photos. Why? Because I've hit the over 300 mark on one of my pic folders and that's a time for celebration and to remember the older pictures. Anywho, as I looked at the older ones, I found a few pictures which I thought were absolutely beautiful. It's always interesting to see a picture with a bit of a blur in it, but not too much. With the right lighting it makes for a wonderful picture. Okay, now we've got art... onto Music! Music-wise, I've dedicated today to Douglas Payne. *runs away from all the Andy fans* I really like 'is voice, and I've listened to a lot of B-sides sung by him today. After listening to Hazy Shades of Gold ((Dougie get back! Dougie! Get back! Thanks.)) I figured, "What the heck? I'll dedicate today to Dougie." So that's how that came about. Today is also domranly dedicated to burning shrapnel, because I'd like my own bit of burning shrapnel. And because I found a lovely picture of burning shrapnel (and Uncle Dom) and I think it's really spiffy. However, my mum is sick, and I don't know how to help her. I wish I could make her feel better. This is the only bad news I have for you today.
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Post by Mippin on May 20, 2004 18:42:11 GMT -5
Hm, Today I feel rather... bleh-ish..
No, nix that, I feel.. Peacefully Disturbed.
It's an odd feeling. I'm annoyed by... something, and yet that same... something... brings me a peaceful feeling. *shrug*
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on May 21, 2004 11:42:14 GMT -5
Indeed. *knows that feeling*
*bounces* I'll be back on... Sunday! I would have been back today, but noooo....
I'm not sure why I just announced that here, but okay. A co je burning shrapnel? (You should be able to telepathically discern what that means).
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Post by Mippin on May 22, 2004 22:59:35 GMT -5
I feel like throwing up. I feel like throwing up because I'm sick of things that are going on in my life. I think I need a doctor. Or as my parents deem, a psychologist. I feel like throwing up.
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Post by Galadrie*snackle*den on May 23, 2004 9:44:25 GMT -5
Elen, are you okay hon? -Menelien
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Post by Arwen on May 23, 2004 13:55:19 GMT -5
*hugs Mip* I'm sorry. Is there anything we can do?
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Post by Mippin on May 23, 2004 18:52:40 GMT -5
Bleh, I just felt sick... I'm alright now though. Thanks guys.
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Post by elberethvarda on May 23, 2004 20:29:54 GMT -5
*huggles* We love you.
By the way, why do people call you "Elen"? :Ds
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