Morgul
Ranger
Kisser of John Noble, Stealer of His pen, and only fangirl of Celebrimbor
Posts: 43
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Post by Morgul on Mar 17, 2004 3:08:41 GMT -5
These are the fics I write during maths...when bored. Technically, this comes under the Morals Chronicles as well, but lets not worry about that ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don't Mess With My Elf! By Morgul Luiniel walked gracefully through the forest realm of Doriath, singing bewitchingly in her beautiful soprano voice, so gorgeous that it rivalled that of Maglor. Her beauty was even more famed than that of her twin sister, Galadriel. As she sang, her pet nightengales fluttered around her, singing in voices almost a beautiful as her own. The sun shone brightly on hair darker and softer than that of Luthien, and eyes that changed colour with her mood glinted like sapphires in the light, an inheritance of her father, Manwe. Up ahead she could hear the sound of her beloved Daeron's pipe. Long had she watched and loved him from afar. She made her way towards the sound of the Minstrel of Doriath's pipe, ready to declare her undying love to him. Luiniel paused just outside the clearing where the wonderful music came from and Agent Darkling took the oppertunity to shoot her between the eyes. As her limp body fell towards the ground Darkling laughed. She entered the clearing and pressed 'STOP' on the tape player. "I knew this would come in handy!" she exclaimed. Moral of the Story: Don't Mess With My Elf!!
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Post by elberethvarda on Mar 17, 2004 11:51:40 GMT -5
*snackles* Again, v. e-vile.
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Mar 17, 2004 12:09:56 GMT -5
I love it. Anyone who thinks they're more beautiful than Lúthien and Galadriel combined deserves to be shot.
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Post by Lëowen on Mar 17, 2004 17:54:36 GMT -5
Shot? Nay, Mari, not shot. Chased through Mordor, beaten by orcs, made to suffer the mighty wrath of Elrond and Miss Cam, stuck in a barrow, and then thrown to the Watcher, more like.
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Post by Mippin on Mar 17, 2004 18:18:32 GMT -5
Well see, I'm a big fan of sticking them in between Sauron and Morgoth at about 3 AM, with an alarm clock and a bucket of urple paint...
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Mar 17, 2004 19:03:42 GMT -5
I suppose that's a challenge to make up my own horrible death........ I say one should place them between Sam and an endangered Frodo, or likewise Merry and an endangered Pippin, and convince the hobbits that the Sue is the creator of the danger, and watch her suffer the consequences. Do not come between a hobbit and his friends, or his food!
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Post by Lëowen on Mar 17, 2004 19:16:48 GMT -5
I say let Galadriel mess with their head for a few days...mwahahaa! Surely no one could survive that! But if they do, there's always the mini-balrogs...
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Morgul
Ranger
Kisser of John Noble, Stealer of His pen, and only fangirl of Celebrimbor
Posts: 43
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Post by Morgul on Mar 17, 2004 21:59:39 GMT -5
Then there's my favourite: Poison them with enough curare to render their vocal chords paralysed, but not enough to kill them and feed them live to the Mirkwood spiders...and unable to scream
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Post by Eladain on Mar 17, 2004 22:24:57 GMT -5
*snackle* I always fovored dipping them in honey, and then hanging them by the toes over a bed of ants, while the other end of the roap is attached to a sandbag with a small hole in it. Short of that, you can always give them a Mexican bowtie
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Morgul
Ranger
Kisser of John Noble, Stealer of His pen, and only fangirl of Celebrimbor
Posts: 43
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Post by Morgul on Mar 18, 2004 0:06:33 GMT -5
Ha! Now we have a whole pile of ways to kill annoying 'Sues! Am currently trying to get a Hobbit or Silmarillion 'Sue to take the edge off of my anger!
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Eowyn Skywalker
Ranger
Look! It's a conspiracy...err, I mean PIPPIN!
Posts: 24
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Post by Eowyn Skywalker on Apr 17, 2004 12:39:15 GMT -5
Hobbit or Silmarillion 'Sue? Hmmm... a fanfiction challenge... mwha-ha...
Why would you want to kill the 'Sues? I mean, just give one an annoying Padawan who carries around 152763 garlic cloves, and screams about conspiracies... that annoys all people, I believe...
-Eowyn Skywalker
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Apr 17, 2004 18:13:23 GMT -5
I believe it does......
Nah, you have to kill them, or else things will stay uncanonical. Besides, how else does one appease one's insatiable bloodlust, at least momentarily?
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Morgul
Ranger
Kisser of John Noble, Stealer of His pen, and only fangirl of Celebrimbor
Posts: 43
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Post by Morgul on May 6, 2004 3:58:59 GMT -5
*dares Eowyn to read some truly Bad!Fic and not go homocidal*
And I used to be the quiet, bookish one who'd faint at the sight of blood. Now I kill, main, and laugh at people dying in splatters! Yo ho! Yo ho! It's the Assassin's life for me!
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Post by Eladain on May 6, 2004 22:28:27 GMT -5
Killing is the only true way to live. Have you ever seen the look in someone's eyes, just as they die? There's something strangely haunting about it, and yet, once you've seen it once, you want to see it again and again.
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Morgul
Ranger
Kisser of John Noble, Stealer of His pen, and only fangirl of Celebrimbor
Posts: 43
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Post by Morgul on May 7, 2004 22:02:16 GMT -5
And again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...
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