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Post by elberethvarda on Apr 2, 2004 13:34:26 GMT -5
Oh wow. Kudos to you for doing what you want! I love being different. Why be like everyone else? What will that change?
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Post by Galadrie*snackle*den on Apr 2, 2004 17:52:23 GMT -5
*hugs the Elen*
-Menelien
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Post by Mippin on Apr 2, 2004 18:47:56 GMT -5
^^ *is hugged* thank'ee
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Post by Arwen on Apr 4, 2004 14:21:50 GMT -5
Yeah, it's hard to disagree with your parent.s At least your mom is okay with it. I have stuff in my future that I want to do, that I'm not sure people will understand. But your Mom is right. Good luck with the Japanese!
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Post by Mippin on Apr 9, 2004 21:03:21 GMT -5
Thanks.
Woo. I made some Lembas bread today. Man, that stuf is good. ^^ But - it is true, one small bite is enough to fill a grown man. It's exceptionally filling. *munches on wafer of Lembas* Squee! *runs off singing "I've got some Lembas!"*
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Post by elberethvarda on Apr 11, 2004 17:04:49 GMT -5
Ooooh, how d'you make it?? I want to!! ;D ;D
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Post by Mippin on Apr 11, 2004 21:13:17 GMT -5
there's lots of different recipies at Councilofelrond.com ^^ I used the easiest one. XD Lembas of the Galadhrim
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Post by Mippin on May 6, 2004 23:10:20 GMT -5
I've been away for a while..but here's a log of what's happened while I was away.
Hmm...Yes, Hallo Rivendellers. So, anyway, I’m on my computer, with no internet access until Tuesday… meaning that I’m writing this on a schnifty little thing called a word processor on Saturday.
As you may know, I’ve been moving around all this weekend. Well, turns out when I got home from school we were mostly moved out already. Wow. To think that all the while I was at the theatre for a field trip enjoying the tartan flags on display, my parents were heaving huge furniture to our new house. In any event, my room is completely done with, so I’m all moved in. Just the plants and Imrahil (my fish) need to come over. I still have lots of LotR related decorating to do yet. But that’s coming along swimmingly.
Yesterday I was feeling terribly Frodo-y. Just really horrible, if you know what I mean. Well, I guess that’s to be expected when I’ve just moved for about the 31st time…or something like that, I’ve really lost count. To be honest with you, it rather hurts to keep track of how many times I’ve just left. Although this is probably the smallest move I’ve ever made, after all the other ones, it leaves me in a mental state that I’m still…leaving. And I really hate this feeling. It’s even worse when I can’t talk to anyone about it. There seems to be only one person in this world that I know of that can relate to this pain, and I can’t talk to her. (Yes, that means a certain Rivendeller) I can’t talk to anyone for that matter. Not yet, but by the time you guys will read this hopefully I will be able to talk to some of you.
Anywho, I’m feeling rather wan as of the moment. I’ve pulled… most of my muscles so I feel like crap. The worst thing is on Monday, I’ve got to go back to school and I have rehearsal after school. Then the next day is our choral performance… >.< (My teacher makes us ‘dance’ too so this is where my concern lies)
I’ve moved away from all my friend spiders. I’ll miss them. Lovely little creatures. There was one that I was particularly fond of though. The thing is, as we move the little stuff out of our old house and to the new house, all the plants outside are dying. As I pass by with a load to take to the car, I see flowers falling off their stems, withered.
On the brighter side, Sarah is convinced that I’ve got a dead body buried in the lawn at my new old house. So… heh... That would have been amusing.
Em, I think that’s it for now. I feel I’m going to utterly bomb my math test on Monday… >.< Ack. Yes… so, I hope Lëo’s told you all you need to know, and that’s it.
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Post by Mippin on May 6, 2004 23:10:48 GMT -5
Sunday
Right, em.. I guess I’ve found more to say. It’s funny how much one depends on one’s online friends. I suppose I didn’t realise that until now, when I really need to talk to someone but am unable to. I’ve been having a terrible time with my family. I can’t help but bursting into tears from my frustration. Every single thing I do is taken the wrong way, as if I’m displaying horrible acts of hostility when I mean things with deepest sincerity. I understand that I’m not the only one that’s frustrated, but unlike the others I tend to just shut myself down. This is probably why I’m not going to go into details about what happened late last night into tonight. I’m just surprised that I’m not all bruised from the impact. I used to bruise really easily… Anyway, I’m really sore, and it hurts to walk, or even to stay in a certain position for a while. There’s no way that I’m going to be able to participate in our Chorus concert, or at least rehearsal tomorrow. I’m still uber-worried about my math test tomorrow though. It’s strange, how sleep is a way to escape. At least when I’m asleep I can’t hear the harsh words spoken to or about me. I can’t feel the pain. Despite the fact that I oft cry myself to sleep, sleep is the only place where I can hide. Shut down emotionally and just turn off my mind. I guess for some people that would still be a problem considering dreams and whatnot, but I’ve just always had a way of controlling my own dreams. I never can remember what I dream when I’m feeling horrible, which I think is quite a good thing, actually.
Although this move has taken quite a toll on my person, I must admit that I have a wonderful feeling that I’ve received a fresh start on everything. I’m leaving everything I don’t want in my life anymore behind. I’ve found all these pictures and things of people I loathe as of now, and well.. I ripped them to shreds and nearly ate a roll of film. o.o
So, even though the bad outweighs the good in this case, I guess I’ll live. I will go as far to admit that I’ve been so frustrated over these past few days that I’ve often thought about my death. Wished for it. I suppose this might sound terribly silly to most people, but try and understand that having gone through what one goes through by moving all the time, one gets horrible scarring. So horrible that just a tiny little move, just moving a few miles or something, can cause one to go mad. I think sometimes about how moving should be, and how it really is. I think perhaps to look on the bright side of it, I could be a free spirit, not really attached to anything, and getting to see and experience things most people haven’t. But instead, instead I feel trapped. Encaged. Like I’m in this cycle I can’t escape; as if someone is holding me under water and I can’t hold my breath anymore. Then I think about my future. What do I hope for my future? Well, to be perfectly honest, I don’t even want to stay in one place anymore. I want to be that free spirit like I’ve thought it should be like. I want to see the world and then when I’m older… then stay in one place. I guess in a sense I’m thinking about how I think. How other people think, for that matter. How everyone can see from a warped window and think they’re right when perhaps, everyone is wrong. And yet it doesn’t bug me, because I think… we can all be right about.. life, lets say. Everyone has their own different interpretation, of the same plot. Their own version. And I suppose that’s all well and good, but why is it that I always end up with the version where everyone is better off dead? My family always says that I’m learning to understand life everyday. It’s a curious thing, that. I’ve been exposed to the mindset that there is no one I can ever trust in this world. That everyone is out to rob you, to deceive you. I’ve been trained in the mindset that life is a terrible thing, and, making the logical assumptions, that we strain so long, for peace. And that peace only comes when we die. Perhaps this is true, but is it right to think that as long as we live here on earth that we can’t enjoy anything? I guess, to quote myself (if that’s allowed) I mean to suggest that ‘the boundaries of known truth are defined by our incapabilities’ People, for the most part seem to be incapable of believing anything to be true unless they’ve experienced it. Have I ever experienced that life is good to the point that I believe it to be true? No, I haven’t. So, do I believe it’s true that life.. is indeed good? Unfortunately, I can’t say yes to that.
Well, the time has come for me to go back into my weekly cycle where I shall be brainwashed by the foolish redundant administration and told that the quadratic equation is in fact, something I will need in everyday life in my profession. Ahh, the things they try to teach us in school.
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Post by Mippin on May 6, 2004 23:11:28 GMT -5
Monday
Soo, here I am again, at my computer. Turns out I didn’t have a test today. Voot. I’ve been informed about this lovely, lovely RPG that Mari is hosting and I can’t wait to join in. I’ve saved up a character description for tomorrow.
Well, today has been so..bloody… uber-humid. True Florida weather – nasty thing. The only thing about it was that there was no sun in the way to blind me, for this I am thankful. In any event, because of this, I ended up having allergy/sinus problems and have a rather bloodshot eye. My homeroom/Algebra teacher thought I might have pink eye. In any event, I stayed at school until 6:50 about working on the set design for our chorus concert. Our chorus is horrible as I’m sure I’ve mentioned to Firi before. The only thing nice is that they actually pronounced “Mornië utúlië” correctly. Hmm, its telling me that Firi, and the elvish and my coined two dot ellipses are incorrect. Fiend of a word processor. The only thing I like about my word processor is that I’ve set it to UK spellings, so colour is indeed, spelt colour, etc.
Well, I have homework, and I must study, so I should be off now. Farewell my friends!
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Post by Mippin on May 6, 2004 23:11:54 GMT -5
No Tuesday for you.
Wednesday
I’ll have you know, I still don’t have my internet up. I should tomorrow. Hopefully.
So, let me tell you a little about my day. I had a field trip today. We went to the Broadway Palm Dinner Theatre to watch the music man. It was alright. I found it a bit amusing in certain aspects I’m sure no one else (save Amarië) would comprehend. Y’see, there was a Mr. Dunlop – and also an actor who looked an awful lot like Dougie. Yes, that’s how I’m amused. A Dunlop; and a Dougie impersonator. Anywhosits, there was also the orchestra whom Leo and I got to bother. (Yep, the whole orchestra – all 4 people) The trombone player was the best though. The trumpet player lives under one side of the stage, and the drummer under the other. The keyboard guy was spiffy too, but not as spiffy as the trombone player. The drummer looked wasted though. *shrug*
So anyway, I am however, feeling rather Frodo-y again… it’s not from the move but perhaps not something I want to mention as of right now to anyone in particular.
I’m also just down because I can’t go on the big field trip to Busch Gardens tomorrow. *cry* I really want to go as I’ve never been there before and I like roller coasters but I was on the bloody waiting list and now I can’t go at all. I’m not even going to bother with going to school tomorrow… I hope the cable guy comes early tomorrow so I can get online… though while everyone else is having a good time I’ll end up having to clean the house, and do all this work… and with my luck, when I get the net I’ll have to update my dad’s business database (this takes literally hours of searching through hundreds of cases and recording various information) and no.. I’m not getting paid for it… at all. *sigh* and after all that I have to buy everything for myself? I don’t even get paid! Ah well… could be worse, I suppose. I need to make my masterpiece… maybe I could do it tomorrow… Must ponder this. *ponder* Stibbons.
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Post by Mippin on May 6, 2004 23:12:23 GMT -5
Thursday
Okay, well… the cable guy came today – and it turns out for some reason unbeknownst to me, that we can’t get net access for about a week more. Argh. What am I going to do for a week?! So, anyway… I’m feeling really upset and want-to-kill-the-school-ish because everyone’s having a blast at Busch Gardens while I’m here doing dishes, helping to put screens in and trying to bathe a cat. -.- I really wish I could have gone, but I can’t. In any event, now I can’t tell Lëo about the animation we were going to do. I suppose I’ll have to do it myself. *sigh* Turns out I’ve nothing to read either… I’ve left the Lays of Beleriand and the manga I was borrowing at school. Curses. -.-;
So what am I doing? I’m sitting here at my computer, listening to music and writing you all these messages.
I asked my mum if I could get a kilt before May 14th… she didn’t say yes, or no… so I know that’s a no. *sigh* My head hurts to top it all off. I think I’m going to take a nap soon... maybe I’ll sleep long enough to forget all these bloody missed opportunities. Have I mentioned how annoying word processors can be? It doesn’t like my ellipses.
Yes… my Frodo-y feeling… I really can’t wait until I can get out to England. Though, I’ve never been there before so it’s rather a massive change, but I’m up for it… I’ve just got to wait… a few…years… gah! Maybe I’ll visit before then (doubt that)
Also annoying, is the news… I flipped around the channels on our TV and what do I hear on the local news? “Just be glad you aren’t in the UK”!!!!! *smites news reporter*
Oy, so… yes, overall today has been a rather crappy day.
Well turns out we got the net fixed up..soo.. I'm officially back!
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on May 7, 2004 11:25:08 GMT -5
Heh... first of all, you copied me. But I'm glad. Now I get to see how good it is to read something like this. You've encouraged me to finish mine. You give us a lovely day-by-day account, so I'll comment day by day. Saturday *many, many stifling huggles* Two things you need: a CD of Rachmaninov, including you know what, and the Phantom of the Opera. You wouldn't believe how stress-relieving that is. Listening to something extremely dark can just further your dark mood, but make you happy in a dark way, y'know? And that can be good, too... Sunday *even more huggles* I love the quadratic formula. But you will never, never use it anywhere. except maybe on the SATs. Monday *bounces* Everyone likes my RPG! *feels special! Huzzah for thy chorus! By are they really pronouncing it correctly? Because if they pronouce it a certain way, they're mispronouncing it in a more correct way than any other. Yeah, weird, you probably know what I'm talking about. I'm rather vain on the point that I believe I know how to really do it.... You wouldn't believe how handy knowing a Slavic language is. Tuesday What?! No Tuesday? Wednesday Um, um, um. Angel of music, guide and guardian, grant to me your glory. Yup. Thursday *also smites news* Ah, hang it all! *stabs word processors and news peeps* There. Better. Friday No more "crappy days" for you! Now, I shall be gone. *sobs* I don't suppose I'll get to talk to you before I leave.... And I think I'll be back sometime tomorrow. Frodo feeling perfectly normal, peaceful yet awful. Yes? Not peaceful at all, terribly restless, yet peaceful. Right? Thought so. We shall talk. I look forward to it. Meanwhile, many huggles, and Mippin had better transfer this great music to you! ;D
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Post by elberethvarda on May 7, 2004 13:08:18 GMT -5
Oh... wow. To something like that, I guess I have got barely anything to say. I've only got domran things to say.
I can't believe it now, but I actually have thought of running away. After reading your journal, I see how absolutely ridiculous that is. My parents always want the best for me, although it may not be what I want. It's also what God wants. I can see how totally blessed I am in my family. I can't imagine not having all six other members of my family behind me all the way, the way you don't. I wish there was some way I could do something. I wish I could actually talk to you. To tell you that I'm behind you, one hundred percent. That you're not worthless. That I care about what happens to you. That there is hope in life; it doesn't end with death.
I really do care about you, Mip. I just wish there was something more I could do.
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Post by Mippin on May 7, 2004 16:48:13 GMT -5
*huggles Mari and Elbie* Thanks guys. Sorry I copied ye, Mari, I didn't know how else to format my absence.
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