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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Apr 4, 2004 19:08:46 GMT -5
Don't blame me. I only started it. Anyway, it turns out I'm not who I say I am, and the rest of you most likely aren't, either. Shall I tell you who I am? I shall, whether you like it or not...... I'm not Mari. I'm Josiah Higgins, a fourty-two year old Englishman who currently resides in New Jersey. I promote shark meat for a living, and torment poor people who are shark meat-o-phobic. My Favourite color is purpleorange, and my hair just happens to be that color. My eyes are white, and I'm a stalker who is currently engaged in following "Mippin's" cat. On rainy days, I enjoy chopping pictures of young celebrities into small pieces and feeding them through the blender. I'm only slightly homocidal, of course. I used to be engaged to "Firi's" Aunt Debbie, even though she's much older than I am. We planned a beautiful honeymoon in China, but alas, it was not to be...... I'm currently engaged to a Chinese woman. Odd how that works, isn't it? I also have a childhood complex about menacing tea shops which has carried over into adult-hood...... You see, my parents and grandfather took me to a tea shop on afternoon, and there was eerie music playing in the background. It was run by a Chinese woman and her daughter, I think. My grandfather got up to go to the restroom and never came back..... *sob* I am a salesman, neither living nor dead. At all times I feel the power of the blender. I will never stop hunting you!
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Post by Firondoiel on Apr 4, 2004 19:34:36 GMT -5
Well, I'm actually a fifty year old Chinese lady named MISS Chen Chang. I live in San Fransisco and run a tea house. It is often noted that my richer customers never leave my shop. I have a lovely chintz tea cover that was a gift from my mother to help me in carrying on the business. I have been married five times though all my husbands have passed on. *innocent smile* I have just become engaged again though, to Mr. Josiah Higgins. He shall stalk my victims and I shall *cough* take care of them.
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Post by Amarië on Apr 4, 2004 21:11:58 GMT -5
I am a thirty-three year old Irishman named Alastar O'Neill. I work for a hacker who goes by the name Blood. I am about 5'3" with dark brown hair. I live in California and have recently taken a liking of tea and ale. I am currently single, though an odd Chinese lady down the street has begun to look at me oddly. I used to go to her tea shop often for an ole sip o' tea, which oddly, that day, had a faint taste of almonds. As I said, I did go often until one morning I found myself wearing a bathrobe in a tea shop last July, feeling as if I'd had my picture taken and my hair appeared rather mangled and the hem of my bathrobe had stab marks in it. Emerging from the tea shop, the whole thing seemed a bit of a blur. From that day on I never went into the tea shop again. Later that week, I saw a man driving off with a bumper sticker that promoted shark meat on his car, who had been parked outside my house for hours. All I could see of him was a wisp of purplorange. but resorted in going down to the next town which had a lovely pub. One night my hacker boss (Blood) confessed saying that she had taken to holding people hostage in her basement and torturing with whatever devices she can get her hands onto. Forcing me to join in with her, we set stalking tea shop owners.
Up to this day, I have never known my parents. I was found in a cardboard box next to the dumpster by an old Swiss woman. When I was twelve one morning, she left for a walk around in the park and was later found in a duck pond, dead. I live in an apartment building surrounded by cats. Though I often stay with my boss while we are torturing some new victims in her basement, which I have found using the sources from Blood. In the basement of the apartment (which I rented out, the basement, that is) I have a secret underground tunnels leading to various locations in the US, and even further, though one night I recall seeing a purplorange hair on the door of a basement leading to New Jersey. Following that tunnel, I saw a shadow and when going towards it, it ran away. From that night on I stayed out of that tunnel.
EDIT: ooh,yes. I also have a liking of highlighters and collect notebooks. bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
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Post by Mippin on Apr 7, 2004 19:10:40 GMT -5
I believe I've already told you.
So now the jig is up. I don't really like Lord of the Rings. I am, actually... a hacker. I've been tracking most of you guys. Tracing your every keystroke. I must even admit that I've made each and every one of you your own personal virus based on what I can conclude about your computers. To be perfectly honest with you, I've spent most of my time working on a nice bug for Firi. And now I must confess why I target people on LotR forums. It is in fact, because I am actually... 23 days older than Uncle Dom - and, being domran like that I decided to hack people based on a movie he was in. I've really never seen the movies, nor do I plan to. I read the books once - didn't really like them. Dull material, really.
I've been hacking Elentari on Imladris for a really long time - stealing passwords, getting her screennames, and so on. But, ever since Imladris went down the tubes I've decided to focus more on folk here. Ever wonder why the password for the mod section (at Imladris) is what it is? Heh heh...
In fact, it was so easy to get all of your passwords, that you'd be surprised how many logins I have on my computer, each of which are linked to many of your harddrives. For Elbereth - well, I planned to take up all your disk space, and then load you up with spyware. The popups would eventually kill your HD. Of course, I'd have to tweak your exsisting virus checkers and whatnot.
I also must admit - that I am single-handedly resposible for not only the way the giraffe looks (oh wait..that's Ford.) but also Mydoom.
As for some of you older members.. I've now got your credit card numbers, and am plotting to use the money to buy nukes from the black market. I'd then tweak the traffic lights in the whole of the US, causing...permanent gridlock, changing the lights only so that one could go to DC... then I'd flee the country and launch my missiles from Scotland - right to DC, where you'd all be obliterated.
I've got a lot of spare time, and I make a living off of creating software patches - of course most of them have bugs encrypted in them, but I was a decent, hardworking employee.
I like sporks. Always have, and currently have a couple thousand of the buggers. I also like cats, and have 5 of them, which are my only company as I live alone in an apartment somewhere in Oregan. Why? I don't like pumping my own gas.
My name is classified as I'm sure you'll all try to turn me in if I gave it to you.
I make frequent runs into Canada in case the fuzz is on my trail. I've been arrested twice, both times for prowling. I used to be a part of the mafia - it was a family business. I am italian, if you haven't guessed by now. I used to work as a hitman, or hitwoman if you will. But that job wasn't for me. I liked to see people suffer - and I liked computers. So I says to my uncle, "I got a deal on hacking." and he tells me, "Hacking? What sort of profession is hacking?! No niece of mine is gonna be a hacker!" he was fuming. So I leave, do a little computer buying - or borrowing without asking, if you will. And I come back. I load up the database of his next victim, hack into his computer, and crash the sucker (after getting into his online bank account and draining it of every penny.) A few days later, my uncle's rolling in hard earned stolen cash. So he says to his best boy, "You see this, Johnnie? You see this?! This..is the work of a master. This is the work of my niece. My niece the hacker! I'm proud of you. Real proud of you."
So that's it. I wasn't disowned, and I made a big profit. I'm living a good life and I'm just hacking you guys for kicks. Enjoy your virus'...when you get 'em! Mwahahaa..
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Post by Firondoiel on Apr 12, 2004 16:20:05 GMT -5
*sniff* I am so *sob* touched! Here, you must have a cup of tea! *hands tea to Mip*
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Apr 12, 2004 21:23:45 GMT -5
What? No virus for me? *stalks Blood* Ack! I think I just got captured! Don't torture me!
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Post by Amarië on Apr 13, 2004 20:33:50 GMT -5
Marigold, I'm sure the hobbits have some nice torture plan worked up for you. bwahahahaha. ;D just don't make your computer suddenly die... they may never come back.
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Post by Arwen on Apr 18, 2004 13:32:54 GMT -5
Thank you Mip, for that wonderful virus I got. I'm so touched by that act of friendship. As I stared at the blank screen, pressed ctl-alt-delate hundreds of times, and finally watched as my brother healed the computer, I felt the love. I will be forever grateful. ;D ;D
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Post by Mippin on Apr 18, 2004 17:19:35 GMT -5
mwahahaa... Anywho, Mari...I'm trying to use actual holmsian detection for your bug... I could probably deduce that you have dial-up, considering you have to leave everytime someone needs the phone. Thus, spyware/adware wouldn't be as effective for thee. Hmm.. I'm thinking of just plain crashing your computer, but I'm not sure...you never know...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Apr 19, 2004 12:26:07 GMT -5
Some really good deduction there, Mip..... But seeing as Lëo and I are supposedly psychic, how do you know I didn't forsee this and plan accordingly? I might be covering up my cable or DSL connection by leaving whenever anyone needs the phone, even though I don't have to.....
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Post by Eladain on Apr 22, 2004 22:25:51 GMT -5
I am Death
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Post by Firondoiel on Apr 26, 2004 21:42:48 GMT -5
I do not fear Death.
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Post by Marigold Gamgee on Apr 26, 2004 22:10:08 GMT -5
I fear neither Death nor Payne, because Death is really Brad Pitt in a suit, and I think Payne was a theologian....
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Post by Amarië on Apr 27, 2004 21:05:04 GMT -5
Woo for Dougie!!
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Post by Eladain on Apr 28, 2004 8:58:50 GMT -5
Wow, I feeled so loved now...most times people are like "eeeeeeeek!! death!!! run!!!!" so i don't have very many friends
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